


i keep on (falling down)

by stardustgirl



Series: Cursed AU [4]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, Crimson Dawn (Star Wars), Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kanan Jarrus Has PTSD, Kanan Jarrus Needs Help, Kanan Jarrus Needs a Hug, Kanan Jarrus-centric, Past Drug Use, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slavery, Suicidal Thoughts, Whumptober, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 03:23:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21228980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustgirl/pseuds/stardustgirl
Summary: After he refuses an order, Kanan is punished.Prompt fill for “Don’t Move” for Whumptober.





	i keep on (falling down)

**Author's Note:**

> Kanan's about fourteen.
> 
> Title from “Deadmen” by SAINT PHNX.
> 
> TW: Torture of a Child, Unnamed Character Death, Asphyxiation (via the Force), Victim Blaming, Referenced Drug Use by a Child (Non-Consensual), Suicidal Thoughts/Ideations (voiced but not acted upon)

“Kill him.”

Kanan stared at the other boy, eyes wide.

“But...he’s just...he’s not even….”

“He failed me, and _ your _ orders are to kill him.”

Kanan swallowed. “I…but I….”

“Apprentice. Do you want me to mark this as a failure on your part?”

Eyes widening, Kanan shook his head. “No, Master, please no—“

“Then _ kill him._”

Maul’s gaze remained on Kanan even as he watched the boy ahead. He hadn’t done anything wrong that Kanan could tell, beyond being late for a shipment.

Though knowing Maul, that was likely enough reason for punishment. _ Or _ execution.

Kanan took a step closer before stopping, sucking in a breath and dropping his blaster to the floor with a clatter. He turned to Maul. “I can’t, Master.”

The Zabrak raised a hand, clenching it into a fist for mere seconds. Kanan cringed at the choking from behind him until Maul relaxed his fist, allowing the smuggler to fully die before stepping forward. “Come with me,” he snarled, grabbing Kanan's arm by the elbow and dragging him forward.

He left the blaster on the floor.

* * *

Maul shoved him into the cell and then into the corner, not hard enough to knock him off his feet but certainly hard enough to make him almost wish the man had. “Don’t move,” he whispered. “I’ll be back shortly. You know what happens if you disobey.”

Kanan swallowed reflexively. “Yes, Master.”

Maul’s footsteps clanked out of the room and the door thudded behind him.

Kanan waited.

* * *

He still waited, even after what had to be several hours. But no, Maul had said he’d be back soon.

Right?

* * *

He jolted awake when his knees slammed against the durasteel and sniffed, blinking and rubbing his eye. _ What…. _

The door opened abruptly and Kanan turned, blinking again and raising a hand to shield his eyes.

“I give you one order, and you fail. I give you a simple task to redeem yourself, and you do the same thing.” Maul sighed and shook his head, beginning to move further into the room. Kanan’s mind went on overdrive as it tried to remember what had happened to cause Maul’s anger to suddenly rise out of nowhere and—_kriff. _

He began to shuffle backward, raising his hands in a placating gesture. “Please, please, Master _ please _ I just fell asleep I promise it was an accident I _ promise _ please just—“

“I didn’t give you permission to sleep, _ or _ to speak.” Kanan clamped his jaw shut, swallowing hard and lowering his gaze as Maul closed the distance between them. “I do now: what do you think could _ possibly _ prove to me now that you are worth more keeping than selling?”

“I….”

He wasn’t sure.

“I ask you to kill _ one _ person, _ one _ failure, and you blow it. Completely. How incompetent does one have to be, boy?”

“I’m sorry, Master.”

“I’m very disappointed in you.”

“Master—“

“_Very _ disappointed.” Maul sighed, massaging his temples before speaking up again. “You’ll need an adequate punishment after this, I hope you realize. I sincerely doubt I could get much money for selling you when you’re this incapable of functioning. Maybe it’s the drugs you were on as a boy, hmm? I always told you you should’ve simply sworn them off. But, I suppose, you viewed them as providing some small degree of comfort.” Maul laughed, a harsh, dangerous sound. Kanan flinched.

“Is that what you need to function, Apprentice? Something to get you high enough to where you’re even _ more _ incomprehensible than usual? I’m sure that could be arranged with just the Force.”

He swallowed again, lowering his head further. “Whatever you think is b– best, Master.”

Maul watched him for a long moment before finally jerking his head. “Follow me.”

He led Kanan out and down the hall, stopping before another cell. He punched the code into the keypad and moved back to push Kanan in. The teen stepped in before Maul could touch him, blinking to adjust his eyes back to the darkness.

And then he saw the manacles.

Kanan balked, shaking his head. “Master, please, no—“

“I want you to think about your actions, and what you’ll do next time you have a blaster in your hand.”

“Shoot myself,” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

_ Kriff._ “Nothing, Master. I– I was just agreeing with you.”

Maul stared at him for a long moment before nodding to the manacles. “Prepare yourself.”

He moved to the chains, whimpering as he stretched his arms up to where Maul could attach the shackles. He bit his lip as his arms already began to faintly throb, withholding another small whimper if only to spite his master.

He watched Maul leave without another word.

**Author's Note:**

> Maul blaming Kanan for the drug thing is officially the worst thing in existence ~ and that’s the tea ~


End file.
